You Can't Come In

He was the man of my dreams, a wish that came true, the flame in my night, broken wings that flew, My miracle… he meant everything to my soul, content without thee, joined, I was whole, he was every thought I never completed, I was every emotion he couldn’t express, we were being removed, to be introduced to a better self, what we felt was so much more than love, it was desire and obsession, we needed to conquer and control, Oh, how quickly we forgot, we were always free souls, our smiles faintly burned our hearts, a wounded me, cried myself apart, I was lost in a familiar place, trying to search for God’s grace, I was confused and certain all at the same time, I didn’t understand where we went wrong, but I was for sure he was mine, the trust I gave to you was more valuable than even I knew, and I forgave your transgressions, not out of stupidity but because I loved you, your recklessness made me appear foolish, but I’m no fool. Walking into his light, I thought things would become clear, but the force that sustained him was powered by fear, and I justified why fear was there, a black man and his struggles, a father that was never there, love must never had been all that good to you, so it must be my responsibility to introduce unconditional love to you, I was so wrong, just wanted to do right, I thought enduring someone else’s pain was noble in God’s sight, Loving him made me weak, with all this to say, I could not speak, I… lost me, I savored our good times, like the perfect flavor, obsessed over how it was, ignored what it is. Love’s not suppose to be like this, I left, but my heart stayed, my heart said give it one more try, but this time, try it his way, He had no way, following him, I lost my way, we wandered together to NO WHERE Land, smiling, we even held hands, he, was walking me to hell, and the light that once blinded me, was now a pit of heat, he showed no pain, but the fire drove me insane.. I walked away with pieces of myself, hoping this time I would feel and be complete by myself, the moment I left I was introduced to a wiser me, much happier, new purpose, more understanding of why things can’t be. Still a bit upset with self, because I still loved him, for reasons that are true, I started with love that’s how I should end, with the clarity that you can love all, but only the righteous can come in. I’m ready to cross his path, smiling from cheek to cheek, I’d doubt if I’d ever see him, only the strong gets my attention, I don’t see the weak.

Many Blessings & Peace to You All!
~Nai